Worry about child rearing principles

There are many people who worry about the way children are being brought up at the present time.

When a child is introduced into this world, at a very vulnerable age, it would genetically expect to be treated in a loving and caring manner such as to provide a good base for his development until he is old enough and proficient enough to fend for himself, though mothers rarely ever consider their offspring mature enough to be able to take off on their own. Dads generally think otherwise, considering that their children will be well able to look after themselves as soon as they decide to make the break, though their daughters may be considered by many to be more at risk. The thinking behind this may be the consideration that girls might be taken ‘advantage’ of, with the possible inability to resist such unusual (to them) attention.

The problem with trying to define what is meant by a loving and caring approach is that it so much depends upon the personal him or her self, this being dependant upon his or her upbringing, and experience up until that moment of time. Their thinking would have been affected by the treatment they have experienced with other persons, as well as hearing or reading what alleged experts on the subject have to say. These other contacts would themselves also have been influenced by their own upbringing and experiences up to that date, or their thoughts may have been developed just from unproven theory. The whole subject can be very complicated!

The result of pondering on all these complications, on paper, is to consider that the new parents must decide themselves how to bring up their child, hopefully weighing up all the advice they can glean, but perhaps mainly concentrating on the basic principles of what they expect of their offspring at the end of the day, if that is possible.

It is considered that listening to their own parents and grandparents, where available, possibly together with friends who have children whose behaviour and principles are admired, would be a very good starting point. One of the problems with this is that some of the actions that the admired parents adopted in the past, when dealing with their own children, might not be in accord with some of the principles and approaches that the new parents would want to acquire and adopt on their own children, even though the overall results appeal to them. It is almost inevitable that this will be the case to some degree, even though the disputed aspect may well be critical in the hoped for development of the child’s upbringing.

Unless the father is unable to find work, it is generally considered that the mother is the best person to look after the children, possibly because they have what is colloquially called a natural mothering instinct. Is this important? It is being assumed here that the mother wants children because she loves the thought of having them, rather than having them just as a status symbol, or just as an asset to be brought us in the easiest way possible.

Research has shown that the mothers who stay at home to look after their children, full time, produce the healthiest children. Is this important?

It is felt that children should be subjected to an environment where they will want to be interested in reading at an early age. Is this considered important?

It is considered that children need behavioural and moral boundaries so that they know what is acceptable. If they go beyond those boundaries they then need to be aware that there will be a downside to their actions which will not be beneficial to them in some way. Is this important in the development of the child?

Traditionally, there would be a full time mother at home to look after the children, to the child’s overall benefit. Is this important?

It is generally considered that a loving and caring mother puts her children first, herself second. Many parents find such an approach to be unacceptable. Is this important?

There is no known research or experience that confirms all these consideration as being anything but important for the child’s best interest and development.

Sometimes, of course, circumstances can totally foul up the parent’s plans.